Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

People remember the way we make them feel …

Wednesday, January 20th, 2016

Last week David Bowie sadly passed away. There was much sadness expressed, and some people questioned the level of the impact his death had on others. I had a discussion with a colleague on Facebook as to the reasons why Bowie’s death impacted on people in the way it did.

It was a theoretical discussion. I had seen him in concert, possess many of his albums and have been fascinated by the way he seemed to re-invent himself every 5 years or so. I was immensely impressed by his ability to demonstrate such imagination and creativity. I was saddened but not distraught, as some people seemed to have been.

Then, earlier this week, I learned of the death of Glenn Frey of the Eagles. As such a key member of The Eagles, they can never be the Eagles again now, so they have died too.

It took me straight back to my childhood. I recalled how my mum bought my dad a radio for his car in the early 1970’s – a car radio was a rarity at the time and I can vividly recall the bright red light that awkwardly and unevenly lit the waveband. The radio was so dad could listen to music as he drove around East Anglia – and The Eagles were his band. He never really took to the often compared Fleetwood Mac – his only other band was the Electric Light Orchestra (ELO), but not even they matched the Eagles. Still to this day he loves their music, he loves their sound and he loves their lyrics. When their most recent album was released – “Long Road out of Eden” – he was full of praise for the ‘poetry’ they created in their lyrics, and I bought him Don Henley’s new album “Cass County” for Christmas as it is very much rooted in the music of the Eagles.

I think I have been to four Eagles concerts with him, with roughly five years between each. The last one was in the Summer of 2014, when the picture at the top was taken. As dad was approaching 80 at the time, I thought he might not want or be able to get to another one, so I paid a ridiculous price (he still has no idea how much!) for tickets in the second row from the front. I never thought it would be his last Eagles concert due to one of the band passing away. It was a marvellous concert and he loved it. We both loved it.

The Eagles have been part of the fabric of my life, part of the fabric of my family’s life, from as early as I can remember … me sitting in shorts on the back seat of our Ford Cortina on those plastic type seats cars had then, watching that little red light – and listening to the Eagles. Right through to taking the train last year to Winslow, Arizona – not such a fine sight to see, I can assure you, as my photo might show – due to its connections with the band.

I am distraught. I am gutted. I feel like part of the foundation of my family and its history has been unexpectedly taken away from me.

That discussion I had with the colleague on Facebook? – now I could discuss it based on my feelings.  And that’s the difference between the deaths of Bowie and Frey for me personally.

For Bowie, I remembered what he had done. For Frey, I remembered the way he made me feel. All my memories are based on those feelings.

That is the way it is, and should be – people will always remember the way we have made them feel; happy or sad, angry or elated. Not necessarily what we have done.

We should never forget that.

Paul